Letter To my Ex

Started off as a poem and turned into a letter.
Start: November 4, 2010 at 5:01 p.m.
End: November 4, 2010 at 11:07 p.m.
something like a serious venting session

Your heart was something I once held, but my cruel touch to your feeling pushed you away. My battle between my brain and heart caused you so much pain. I know that it may be too late to apologize, but I feel like you deserve a reason why. See I have a war going on inside of me. As had as I tried to not let this war effect out relationship I still failed. Leaving me to again, break your heart. That's something I truly never wanted to do but sometimes it seemed as if I didn't have a choice. I let the war be staged between me and you when it should have stayed inside of me. The war inside of me was between my heart and love. I don't know exactly when or why this war started but I was hoping it was going to end when I met you. Clearly that didn't happen because the only thing that was our relationship. I always believe that love conquered all but I guess it failed when it came to my heart. When I said it was me not you I was speaking the truth. It was the fact that my heart was unable to accept yours. While I was in a relationship with you I refused to accept the fact that my war was still not over. It took me jumping into other short relationships to come to that realization. They too deserve my deepest apologies. Up until now, today November 4th, 2010, the war was still going on. It took me finally sitting down and venting all of my feelings to end this war. I got this epiphany about it that influenced me to write this and it was "Just another heart I lost,,it's gone and now I can't get it back..but that doesn't stop me from trying...just letting you know that i'm like Marques Houston 'I can hear your heart' and i'm trying to reach it but there's something in the way..something like a road block but i'm working on tearing it down. Do you see that?" and after I wrote that I started to evaluate myself. Came to the conclusion that I no longer had a reason to fear love because love will always be around. That road block is no longer there. As if my heart has been cut open and awaits the transplant of your I mean someone's love. So I guess this poem turned letter was both an apology and confession. Me apologizing for any pain I have cause to your heart and me confessing that I am moving on and hoping to accept the next person's love. Just know that you will for-ever be in my heart but no I'm not in love with you anymore.

With Love,
Jerrika E. Jones
A.K.A.
Authentic Jay